My Average Holidays

Begorrah! I thought July was going to be a bit dull after last month. All we had planned was an open air theatre event. Lyn however had an idea that we should have a ‘family’ day out before Victoria started her new job in September. She’d seen somewhere that you could fly to Paris for a day trip cheaper than going out somewhere in the UK. Now that’s very possible if you live near a major airport like Gatwick. It’s a different prospect when you live in North Devon. Nevertheless I started having a look on an app called Skyscanner. Realistically our only choice is Bristol as Exeter is too small and expensive.

To cut a very tedious story short, no family trip but I did find Dublin was cheap. I think Lyn was hoping for the South of France but then aren’t we all. As she hadn’t had a foreign trip this year and we’re not sure what’s happening in October I booked a day trip just for us for the princely sum of £68… That’s not per person or oneway. That’s 2 people flying out to Dublin from Bristol at 7:20am and returning the same day at 7:30pm for £34pp return. To put that into perspective it would cost me £20-30 just one way to get a taxi the 10 miles to Barnstaple. The fly in the ointment was the car parking at the airport which was £50! It might have been cheaper to park illegally.

We’ve not flown Ryanair before and it’s a hoot if you’re not fussy! We decided not to pay £8pp each way for the luxury of sitting next to each other instead trusting to luck. Luck of course has nothing to do with it. Ryanair deliberately sat us as far from each other as possible, row 11 and row 26, and both middle seats. I know it was deliberate because after the seats had been allocated a message came up saying “Are you sure you don’t want to sit next to each other and pick your seats?” Nope I’m good ignoring strangers for an hours flight and saving £32 thanks. Lyn of course immediately made aeroplane friends with the 2 strangers she was sat with and had a good old chat. Also she’s now very pleased with herself as she’s apparently ‘flown on a plane on her own’ for the first time.

Dublin… It was raining when we landed and we didn’t get a passport stamp. Not a good start. The Dublin Express was running late due to the weather, I’m assuming because it never rains in Ireland. I said this sarcastically out loud in the queue and saw the blokes in front of us laughing. We needed to get to the city centre as we’d booked a 2 hour walking tour via Viator for 10am. This was Dublin Highlights and Hidden Gems and had only cost £32. Normal price is £20pp but I had Viator credits. Despite the bus delay we got there with 10 minutes to spare.

My big takeaway from the tour is that the English are bastards. Now in fairness to the guide he did say at the start that he wasn’t having a go at the present day English or even the English in the past, just the elites… but he probably was. Of course every nation/culture in the world when writing its own narrative is going to need a big baddie. The Greeks had Persia, the Romans had Carthage, everyone else had the Romans, etc. Globally you don’t get a bigger baddie than the British Empire… and most of what he said was fair enough. The Irish had always been a disobedient member of the ‘British’ family. When they rebelled, which they did a lot over the course of 700 years, they got slapped very, very hard, each time worse than the time before because that’s how it works. But then so did the Scott’s and the Welsh and everyone else so not really a special case. Whilst there were a couple of things I might take issue with I did bristle at the implication that only 80’000 people speak Irish now because of the English. Come on! You’ve been independent for 100 years, 4-5 generations worth. At what point is it your responsibility? They seem to be trying to reintroduce it with multi-lingual signs everywhere but I don’t expect it will catch on.

It had rained on and off throughout the tour but now it became torrential. Soaked, we went into the first pub (there are a lot of them) we came too which was called The Oliver St. John Gogertys. It was okay, I did like the live music, the food was edible, the drinks were horrendously expensive but the best thing it had going for it was that it was dry. It would have been nice if the food wasn’t also dry but you can’t have everything.

The rest of the day was spent having a look around, buying some tat and trying (and occasionally failing) to avoid the rain. We did see what I assume is a typical bit of Irish street theatre when a bus driver pinned a drunk to the floor shouting “You can’t come on the bus. You shouldn’t have come at me!”

It was soon time to go and when we got on our bus for the airport the heavens opened again but once there the sun came out and stayed out (FFS). Our flight home was delayed by 30 minutes so nothing horrendous and we did get to sit next to each other as a nice chap swapped with me. Take that Ryanair! It was a long day but we eventually got home about 11pm after being up for 20 hours.

In conclusion you CAN do a relatively cheap day trip to a foreign city by air BUT we wouldn’t go back to Dublin. Dublin also fails the ‘Fish Finger‘ Test*. I’m not even going to blame the rain. At one point while we were walking around I said to Lyn “It reminds me of Exeter just not as nice” and that dear reader is the problem. It’s just an average ‘British’ city with an accent. I’m sure if we had more than a few hours there’s much more to see and do but even the ‘famous’ stuff seemed a bit dull. For example the Ha’penny Bridge is extremely underwhelming so much so I haven’t even looked up its history and I love doing that sort of thing. Okay… as I wrote this I then had to look it up and it’s still dull as ditch water. My number 1 recommendation is that if you are going to do it book a hotel room just for one night. It’ll probably cost you less than £100 but will let you explore properly.

As already mentioned our pre planned event was open air theatre at Hartland Abby to watch a performance of HMS Pinafore performed by Illyria. Open air theatre is something we discovered during covid and it’s a lot of fun. We nearly didn’t go as I’d developed an horrendous head cold I’m guessing from getting soaked in Ireland but I’m glad we did. Our old camping chairs, whilst compact, could/should be classed as ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ so we got a couple of new ones from the Trespass closing down sale (for refurbishment) and headed out.

We’ve not seen HMS Pinafore before and I wasn’t aware of the ‘plot’ but I did recognise a few tunes which is nice. Our new chairs were a triumph as I managed to stand up at the interval and wasn’t completely crippled. Even though we’ve up’d our game this year with the new chairs and a cool bag for snacks we were still out gunned by the family in front of us who had a fucking table!

Whilst I’m no expert I have to say the performance was very good and I recommend having a look at the Plough website and booking a show if you’re free for an evening. They do a few different ones if Gilbert & Sullivan isn’t your thing.

Other Stuff… Well we had breakfast AND lunch at my favourite eatery The Mill Street Brasserie. This place is always my first recommendation for somewhere to eat in Bideford and not just because no children are allowed. Good local food, excellently cooked and fantastic service. Honestly if I was a Boomer on 35 grand and just had my winter fuel allowance reinstated I would use it to eat there every week… they probably do anyway.

We also went to the cinema to watch F1, The Movie which is a terrible name but a good watch. In fact the more I think about the film the more I like it because whilst there’s nothing original about it, it doesn’t try to be anything other than a good bit of entertainment.

Lastly the website address was very bad so I’ve bought a domain name again which means you can find the site at myaverageholidays.blog Its fairly meaningless because you’re here but it does satisfy my need for order. I’ve also revamped the Gallery page and written a new About section (I’m particularly amused with my profile picture) so have a look at those if the mood takes you.

* The Fish Finger Test: When trying to work out if somewhere is an interesting place to visit say the phrase… When I was in XXXX I bought a packet of fish fingers. If the listener says “Oh you were in XXXX” then its a good place to visit. If the focus is on the fish fingers e.g. Was it Birdseye? or Was it for your dinner? Then maybe give it a miss.