My Average Holidays

Just to prove me wrong with regard to the weather May was gloriously sunny just like April. In fact the 1st of May was one of those ‘hottest since records began’ days which are becoming more and more frequent. I would suggest they change it to something like “Another warning from the planet that you’re all going to die” so people would take it more seriously but quite frankly I think it’s time for another species to take over. Anyway, we decided we needed to ‘make hay’ before we get incinerated and use our new English Heritage cards for a trip to Tintagel on the North Cornish coast.

I had to look it up and the last time we’d been to Tintagel was 11 years ago with the ‘children’. I’m pretty sure we looked at the price and how busy it was and decided not to go over to the island and went to Boscastle/Hartland instead. My enduring memory was loosing my glasses in the car park. Before that? Maybe our honeymoon? There was defiantly no bridge or freaky statue of King Arthur but to be fair they’re both fairly recent additions.

We got there for when it opened. There was a large coach party disembarking in the car park so we quickly made our way to the site before it got over run. We’ve got temporary English Heritage passes and were supposed to show photo ID but the lady on the counter didn’t want to see because I ‘don’t look dishonest’. Cheek! I could be dishonest!

We took advantage of a practically empty Tintagel and got some photos that next month or even later in the day would have been impossible because of the crowds. A little sunshine would have been nice, bloody unreliable climate change.

After visiting the Tintagel Post Office, which is a National Trust property and getting a very funky stamp and pin we made our way to Boscastle. We had a very expensive sausage roll, pastie and 2 tins on soft drinks in the National Trust cafe and then had a stroll down to the end of the harbour. I not sure but this might have been a first time I’ve bothered to do that. It was then time to wend our way home which fortunately isn’t a long drive.

I had an idea about booking into a Travelodge in Bangor, North Wales for a week and visiting as many National Trust sites as we could. As a break it should be fairly cheap so as proof of concept we had a look around and in Somerset there seemed to be a nice cluster of properties around Yoevil. It’s only a 90 minute drive from home but we booked a Travelodge in Ilminster for £52 as it was half the price of the one at Yeovil and only a few miles down the road. The day before we decided to work out the order in which we’d visit only to find that half the properties we previously looked at were closed! If I hadn’t been cheap and booked the non refundable room we probably would have cancelled which would have been a mistake.

Our first stop was Stourhead House & Gardens in Wiltshire. This wasn’t initially on our list because it was a bit far but it was recommended by a neighbour who use to live nearby. We absolutely loved it! The whole place is beautiful, a quintessentially English country house. To me that means taking the best influences from throughout history and the world without any consistency and plonking it in the English countryside which somehow makes it better. I especially liked the library which was apparently built to ‘inspire’ the owner. I also got to do a duet with the pianist… not really but she did let me sit at the piano for a photo as she and the room volunteer thought our photos of me pretending to play the piano at NT properties was very funny.

We could have stayed at Stourhead all day but that wouldn’t have got pins collected and passport stamped. So our next stop was Lytes Cary Manor. This was alright, we didn’t explore it properly as it was just a stop to get the aforementioned pin and stamp. I think I took about 3 photos. The most traumatising thing was seeing an elderly gentleman (80’s) wearing the exact same shirt that I had in my wardrobe at home. Yes I know I’m old but I’m not that old. When I got home I burned it. The weather was getting a bit cloudy and time was pressing. NT properties don’t seem to open before 10am and close about 4pm so we wanted to get our last stop of the day in.

This was Tintinhull. The house was closed but the gardens are supposed to very nice and more importantly ‘compact and bijou’ at least as far as a country house is concerned. As we looked around we saw a nice photo opportunity completely spoilt by a group of people sat in a covered area at the end. Lyn and I both suspected they’d been sat there all day just to piss people off and this was confirmed when it started to rain so we made our way to the shelter. A grotesquely fat individual who should be used as a warning against… probably quite a few things but let’s go with gluttony moaned through wobbling jowls ‘I expect everyone will come in here now’. Yes you fat F that’s exactly what people will do because it’s raining and you’ve squatted in the only shelter. I didn’t say that because Lyn would have been cross with me. Her disapproval is the main curb on me voicing out loud my general enmity towards humanity.

For our evening meal we went to The Bell Broadway. This was a pub in a small village that had the following going for it. It was open, fairly close by, had reasonable score on the interweb and had food that we could both eat. Once there I got the gossip which is the locals don’t like the new owners because they are trying to turn it into a gastro pub and don’t want people standing at the bar. Not that I cared because the sun was shining and it was warm. We sat outside and I had a nice glass of wine or two. These days I rarely drink, I can’t even remember the last time I sat in a pub in the sun and had a glass of wine let alone two but I did it on this day and it was delightful. The meal and in particular the drinks bill blew our budget out of the water but I don’t regret it and would do it again.

The following day I got up at my usual 5am much to Lyn’s disgust. She’d not had a great night as she had to move to one of the single beds in the room as the main one had a dip in it. (Yes I am aware of that last sentence). A big issue with being an early riser is that nothing is open so we had a leisurely morning waiting for the Greggs next door to open. Greggs is perfect for this Travelodge clientele which seemed to be labourers. They probably had a busy day of putting out cones and temporary traffic lights then standing around having a chat and munching on their Greggs sausage rolls. I know it’s a cliché but I couldn’t resist. I got a breakfast bagel and we headed out to see the Cerne Giant in Dorset. Along the way I managed to spill ketchup down my shirt so had to do a quick change in a lay-by. I’m always happy to give passing HGV drivers a early morning treat. Sadly despite it being mid May they’d not yet re-cut the giant so it was very green and not jolly. I’ll be honest it was a little disappointing. I can see a grass hill almost anywhere. To kill a bit more time we drove through Yeovil but on seeing it decided not to stop. We did find a Tescos so I could get some new, less ketchup/slept-in, clothes.

Our first proper stop of the day was Montacute House back in Somerset. This was another wonderful stop and could easily have been an all day event. We’d been up quite a few hours by this point so headed straight for the cafe. Carol at the entrance informed us that there was a tour at 11am (free of charge) so we thought we’d have a quick look around before that began.

While I was messing around taking footage with my 360 camera Lyn started chatting with rando’s which is what she does if left to her own devices. Apparently they were from Bude but their friends were from New Zealand. We, or rather Lyn, had spoken to another couple from Bude when we went to Tintagel. Bude it seems is the ‘Golden Years’ retirement town of the South West.

Our guide was an actual employee of NT rather than a volunteer and use to be a biology teacher. She left the teaching profession 2 years ago and doesn’t regret it in slightest and who can blame her. Her tour was excellent giving a nice potted history of the house and its various owners. I would always recommend going on a tour if you can as it always adds to the whole experience and you can’t beat free.

Our last stop was Barrington Court. Originally we weren’t going to stop as it said the house was closed but a lady at Lytes Cary Manor said the house was a bit rubbish anyway but the ‘stable block’ next door was open and the gardens were very nice. Turns out the stables is what someone would buy as a house if they won the lottery. It’s on the left in the photo below.

We had another nice chat with a lady here who said that if I wanted I could bring the car to the disabled parking as it wasn’t very busy and they don’t monitor it anyway after I commented on the distance of the car park. Barrington was very pleasant in the sun and we almost had the place to ourselves. The main disappointment was that we had planned to eat something in the cafe but the only food they had was a vegan sausage roll so we left and stopped of for another supermarket meal deal in Taunton on the way home.

Despite this only being one night away both Lyn and I felt it was like having a proper break. Ignoring my extravagance at the pub we had 2 days away for less than £100! That’s almost what dinner at the pub cost! We’ve made a few notes of what we need next time (power banks, pillow, etc) because there will definitely be a next time. I just need to get the maps out and work out a good (and cheap) location to maximise our NT & EH memberships.

Our ‘pre-planned’ May event was an evening with Simon Reeve at the Queens Theatre Barnstaple. We’d actually booked this months ago. We like his TV programmes and I see him as a successor to Alan Whicker and ‘Whickers World’ but far more poorly dressed. I started the month talking about climate change and it ended with Simon Reeve talking about it as well. He’s a bit more upbeat and hopes ‘we’ can turn it around but then you can’t start a talk with ‘We’re all fucked and it’s your fault’. What I do agree with him about (and what Lyn and I try to do) is the importance of having adventures. As he said rather appropriately for this month ‘It doesn’t matter if it’s the other side of the world or on your own doorstep’. What this month proved is that ‘doorstep’ can sometimes be just as fulfilling… especially with a glass of wine.

So that was a very busy and fun filled May. I recommend watching the video below, I’m quite pleased with it and if you’ve enjoyed this and want to get an email when I do a new post each month there’s a ‘subscribe’ button at the bottom.